In case you didn't know, I suffer from anxiety. To be specific with social anxiety. When you read the title of the post, you were probably like ‘wait…what?!’ Yes in a way, dealing with anxiety helped me. The journey it put me on made me to the person I am today. In this post, I wanna explain to you why and how I tackled my anxiety.
My anxiety normally kicks in when I'm thrown into new situations, when I have to meet new people and when I have to use any form of public transportation. Basically being around a lot of people in an environment that I am not familiar with.
When little things like using public transportation turned into a major problem I knew I had to change something. I started to talk to a doctor. We developed a plan together on how to proceed from now on.
I started to tackle my fears step-by-step and I was driven by the thought of taking control of the things I wanna do instead of letting fear decide what I could or could not do.
Not gonna lie, it was hard, and sometimes still is. But the feeling when I tackled my fear, used the subway instead of walking and be around many people, was overwhelming. Friends started to notice a difference in me. I was happier, liberated, motivated and calmer. I was always someone who wanted to see, learn and experience but my anxiety took that away from me and suddenly I was rebuilding this passion.
Back when I did Youtube, I once got a comment asking me, if I take anxiety medication, cause if I didn’t, I wouldn’t really have anxiety. This comment truly shocked me! Since when are we battling each other on 'who is doing worse'?! I honestly don’t get the point. Aren’t we supposed to empower one another? At least that is what I’m trying to do by telling my story. No, I did not take any anxiety medication and still do not. That was my decision to make and I don’t see anything wrong with it. And if you and your doctor decided that anxiety medication is the right path for you, that's totally fine, too. So before I write myself into a rant, let’s get back to the original topic of this post. So how did my anxiety help me?
The journey it put me on, made me so much stronger. Yes, you can be a strong and independent woman despite dealing with anxiety! I did so much progress with how I deal with my anxiety. It was hard and a lot of times scary, but it is and was so worth it. Am I 100% anxiety free? Nope. And that's ok! To be really honest, I don’t think anybody on this plant is 100% immune to getting anxious, cause that is an absolutely normal thing.
You can make that change, too. I know you can. You are strong and beautiful and there is no need for letting anxiety control your life! You are perfectly capable of doing so yourself. Talk to your parents, friends, family, teacher or a doctor and tell them, how you feel. It will not happen over night, but you will make progress, step-by-step and don’t get encouraged when something doesn’t work right away. With time it will. And from the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best for your own anxiety journey. You rule your life, not your anxiety. Love you.